Maria, November 2019
I am Maria, freshly grieving older daughter of Denise, who passed away in November, 2019.
Denise was a native New Yorker and while she raised her two daughters in Maryland, she spoke of Coney Island, the subway, the Macy’s parade, and black and white cookies with such nostalgia that I couldn’t help but want to live there, which I did for eight years, feeling so at home there, having been raised to love it from afar for so long.
Born Denise McHale, her Ancestry.com test showed that she not only was Irish, but that the vast majority of her forebears came from only about four different western Irish counties. She and I took two trips to Ireland together, spending some of that time hoping to piece together more of her family background. She knew both grandfathers had emigrated from Ireland, and empathized deeply with the immigrant experience.
On an occasion when she visited me in NYC, we never made it to the Statue of Liberty but spent a long afternoon in Ellis Island’s museum, tears running down our faces thinking about the bravery and challenges of those who passed through that building. Denise was never able to fill in enough details to petition for an Irish passport, a dream of hers. That didn’t keep her from being a fan of all things Irish, and exhibiting the gift of gab, and a melancholy romantic writers heart. One of her favorite politicians is also one of her favorite musicians, Maryland’s Martin O’Malley. A song on one of his albums was about star-crossed lovers desperate for one another’s arms, but the man ends up in jail dying before the pair can consummate their love. She thought this was the most romantic thing ever, while I argued it was the most depressing Irish songs ever, a high bar in the first place.
Denise suffered for decades with congestive heart failure, and painful gout resulting from the heart medication. It has been a long, long time since anyone would have described her as a robust person, if ever. But it’s all the more surprising that what finally killed her was a rare and aggressive form of leukemia. In her final days she declined breathtakingly quickly, never one to want to engage in any more medical attention than absolutely necessary.
She was a prolific writer her whole life. I am starting this website to provide a place for me to share her writings with you, and hopefully, for you to share some of your memories with me.
❤️